I feel like this picture of Alicia Silverstone and Brittany Murphy from Clueless is really misleading but they’re both so beautiful and they both look really happy in this picture, so let that be the visual definition of this post.
I get into tiffs with people and they’re usually with kids from school. These petty, minuscule arguments are frustrating because they could be over anything; my Tweets (come on, don’t judge me based on a cluster of different 140 character sentences), my input in a conversation (what?! you’re talking about the Met, I’ve been there, and so have a lot of people – I’m not showing off, I promise), or even an opinion (IT’S POLITICS, I KNOW YOU DON’T AGREE, BUT I AM NOT RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT SO DON’T WORRY).
Recently, a couple of people have told me that there is in fact a reason why people at school don’t like me.
At first, I felt awful: Was I truly hurting people? Was I being cruel? A bully? I had counted the instances in which I was intentionally mean to someone as to hurt them, and of course I recollect them with regret. And of course, it turned out those instances were exactly why people didn’t like me, why people didn’t want to be friends with me, why people rolled their eyes whenever I said something.
It is completely unfair that people judge me based on my past mistakes, that people hate me just because they don’t like my personality (are you kidding me? I will do embarrassing things just to make someone laugh). Like, yeah, Rihanna wore Crocs one time, but she still looked great even after that – she’s a fashion icon, in fact. Okay, she also pulled off the Crocs. That was a bad analogy. I am not Rihanna.
The thing is: I do have friends. It’s not like I’m this completely anti-social teenage girl that says cynical things 24/7 as a defense mechanism against people who don’t like her. I only say cynical things half of the time and it’s not even a defense mechanism. It’s not like there are people outside of my high school that absolutely despise me and have me blocked on every social networking site simply because my personality sucks. The number of people who don’t really like me is outweighed by the number of people who do.
My heart isn’t broken because my high school peers don’t like me. If anything, my heart is broken because there are actually a few people out there that don’t get dry humor.
This post is three things: One, an apology to those who I have hurt (I’m sorry); two, an unapologetic blog post in the style of Taylor Swift’s Mean to those that dislike me, especially if it’s because their friends do (you barely know me, and just because your friend hates me, I could answer a question correctly in class or eat in front of you while you were super hungry and you would start to think you understand the whole THIS IS WHY WE HATE UPASNA thing); and three, an appreciation letter to the people outside of my high school that get me and laugh at my jokes and get where my cynicism comes from.
I don’t have a clique or a specific group of friends, but I’ve got these people in my life that are each amazing, individualistic, and talented in their own way – and although we aren’t exactly the same in the things we like to do, the music we choose to listen to, or the clothes we like to wear – we get along just fine. We have plenty to talk about. Having friends isn’t just about the myriad of commonalities and the amount of same ideas you have (such as wearing pink on Wednesdays – stop trying to make that happen! Friendship Gear is so third grade). The majority of the people I go to school with may not like me, but I have a few, quality people that do. They also laugh at my jokes.
My friends and I are kind of like an everything bagel. I call dibs on being the sesame seeds.
P.S. I hope people don’t think this is like a snarky attempt at a snub. I truly feel this way. If you think this post is targeting you, then you’re probably Regina George or a Heather. As much as I love her, I’m not Taylor Swift and my writing won’t be based on a particular person/group of people. Yet. Maybe when I can afford a lawyer.
Quote: “One friend with whom you have a lot in common is better than three with whom you find things to talk about. We never needed best friend gear because I guess with real friends you don’t have to make it official. It just is.” – Mindy Kaling